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Decision Fatigue: It's Not Just You

  


Maybe it's the time of year or maybe it's the season of life I'm in, but lately there have just been a lot of decisions to make. I suppose it's always been true, but I feel it more lately. Maybe you can relate.

What's for dinner? What am I wearing tomorrow? Do I need to do laundry today or can it wait until tomorrow? What about groceries -- am I good for the recipes this week? Should I go to the gym before work or after? Well, how am I going to do my hair tomorrow? Oh shoot -- was that Amazon package supposed to show up today? Maybe I should go home early so it isn't sitting out. No -- I have to get these papers graded. Well, maybe I can get them done on my prep tomorrow. Ugh -- I'm too tired to exercise. Did I go enough times to get the health insurance kick-back yet?

Decision fatigue. It's a real thing. 

We've all been there. As a teacher, I think I feel it more than ever because aside from the questions listed above, I'm also managing questions and decisions within my classroom all day long. 

Do I have enough time to go to the bathroom? Do I have a spot in a group for the kid that was absent? Did I make enough copies for next hour? Oh shoot -- that kid didn't come in for their quiz, do I go track them down? Did I follow the IEP for this student? How do I handle the conflict between these kids if it happens again? Do I need to email home? What if that parent gets mad -- is there documentation to back me up? Does my lesson tomorrow fit the class time allotted? What can I do as a back-up for my fast class? What do I have to get done on my Prep today -- do I have time to think up a bonus activity? 

Day after day after day. 

I honestly get a little anxious just writing that out, but that's only a handful of my questions on an average day. I love teaching, but there are a LOT of decisions to make. And when the day is done and all the questions externally have stopped, I'm spent. Last year (my first year back in the classroom) I could hardly manage to decide what I wanted for dinner before quite literally collapsing on the couch for the night. I can honestly say I had never been so tired so consistently for so long and literally nothing seemed to help. 

I know I'm not alone, either. A couple co-workers and I occasionally match outfits at work just to eliminate a decision for the others. I posted a poll on social media and the responses were numerous when I asked, "What kinds of decisions do you find yourself taking an unreasonably long time to make?" Anything from hotel arrangements to big commitments to what to comment on that post -- we all feel this need to get it just right. And one thing is certain-- it's eating away at our energy. We don't want to waste time, but we don't want to do something twice if we make the wrong choice, so we get stuck, even paralyzed between "this or that."

This year I decided a few things had to change if I was going to make it and not be a wreck by the end of May. So I started thinking through a few simple things like making CrockPot freezer meals with a group of coworkers. I set some rhythms in place at home at night so more gets done with less thinking. Monday night is grad school classes. Tuesday night is dishes & podcasts. Wednesday night I read and probably bake something. Thursday is movie/TV night. And on Fridays I get take-out dinner.

But honestly, the biggest game changer for me has been switching to ordering groceries online instead of going into the store. I probably do this for half of my shopping now. I never realized how much mental energy I was using up by walking through the aisles in stores just to grab maybe a dozen things. And on especially long days, I've had moments of standing in an aisle looking at 15 brands of the same item only to just reach out and grab whichever one is closest because I just can't care this much about ketchup right now. But with online groceries, it shows me what I've bought -- so I just buy it again. And then I just drive up to the store and some wonderful person comes and puts it right in my trunk and I drive home. Everything I need -- no mental fatigue added. Amazing.

On the weeks that I do shop in-person, I usually only go to Aldi and it's primarily BECAUSE the selection is less. I don't get stuck because I don't have that many options. It's been helpful. So it's caused me to wonder where else I can streamline and cut away necessary distractions. 

It is so helpful to identify and eliminate as many small energy leaks as possible. 

I think the same is true spiritually. A human heart can only handle so much and in the last two years, every human heart has been handed a percentage of stress that we aren't in control of eliminating. There's just less room for people to care right now. But somehow it seems like there are more decisions to make. So, now more than ever, it's important for us to articulate and hold fast to what we know is important or valuable to us. 

What keeps you healthy and stable?

What is restorative?

What is helpful? 

What is always worth the time?

I think so often we look at each day with the question, "Okay, what HAS to get done today?" And certainly there are days where that needs to be the driving question. But if every day is operating in the tyranny of the urgent, you're already on the warning track and it won't be long before it feels like everything is crashing down. And for me, as a follower of Jesus, when I divert the bulk of my attention toward a to-do list instead of thinking about what has been done for me already on the Cross, I get anxious and act like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. It's not. That's God's job. 

My job is faithfulness to what God has afforded me today. And we're promised that "each day has enough trouble of it's own" (Matt 6:34) so I don't need to go adding tomorrow's problems to today. God promises the grace to handle each day. And He never leaves or abandons us. So with that in mind, I can make decisions about how to simplify my daily life and protect my heart and mind. 

If you're in that place of feeling overwhelmed by to-do's when your energy is DONE, here are helpful things I've done lately. 

1) Take a look at your calendar -- are you overcommitted? What can you say no to that would give some extra space? Make space, friends. The more ways you try to divide your attention, the less attention everything seems to get.

2) Identify your energy leaks. For me, the biggest leaks have been some of the smallest things: errands left undone that haunt me (stupid oil change!), piles of clutter I see every time I walk into a room, the regular chore you love to procrastinate on so it just waits for you, and tasks that require high emotional energy like entering into conflict to solve a problem. 

3) Make sure you have restorative things built in. My co-workers tease that I am a stress baker. I mean, they're not wrong, but I always counter with an explanation about how baking is a fun, creative, and sensory outlet for me. Plus, it gives me a way to enjoy a treat without being stuck with an entire pan of high-calorie carbs for the next week. And, it fuels my love of sharing acts of hospitality with others. Knowing what is restorative is only good if you're actually doing it. I used to tell myself I couldn't do things like this until all my work was done. Sometimes that's true. But we need those restorative moments, too. My top restorative things are exercise, spending extended time reading my Bible, taking vitamins daily, writing, reading in my hammock outside, and having good conversations with trusted friends. And when all else fails, take a road trip and listen to music and pray. A little country air always does the soul some good.

4) Invest in your long-term, even if your short-term is screaming for your attention. Last year when teaching got tough, I let go of a few rhythms I didn't have energy for just to ride the waves and keep going. But in hindsight, I chose the wrong rhythms to let go of. When stress was high, I desperately needed to go burn off some stress-filled calories at the gym, but instead I let my mind work overtime while I sat at home on the couch. Other times, I put my spare energy into perfecting my lessons instead of protecting my friendships. That was a mistake. My friends would have reminded me that I am so much more valuable than anything I could possibly produce as a teacher. I'm doing it differently this year. Seasons come and go, but things like solid friendships and your health are up to you to maintain in every season. 

5) Simplify unapologetically. I may not do this for long, but in the last couple weeks, I've changed small things to make brain space while my grad school work is heavy. I do my hair the same basically every day. I picked out all my teacher outfits the day I did laundry and set them out. Same for my workout clothes. I'm not wearing make up much. I go to the gym on the same days so I don't have to battle myself every morning -- just 3 weekdays. I eat the same thing for breakfast on purpose. I make large batches of soup on the weekend so I have lunch for the rest of the week done already. I keep a list of what I need from Walmart so when I have a minute, I can just go online and order it for pick-up. I don't bring work home (most nights) and I don't work past 4:30 unless it's crunch time. I cut out social media entirely for a month so I wasn't tempted to scroll when I should've been studying. I go to bed by 10:15 without exception. I have been limiting my TV intake most days to just the 5:30 world news and maybe the 6:00 local news. But then, the TV goes off and my apartment is quiet -- and often, this is what helps my mind "dump" everything I've been thinking about today. 

6) Process your thoughts. I would be lost without a notebook with me at all times. I often just need to dump out the contents of my brain to sort through and move forward. It's good to learn how to "brain dump," especially if you're single and/or live alone. Verbal processors need a buddy -- go find a buddy. Our thoughts have so much power over our decisions. I want to make sure my thoughts have earned their keep. If not, get rid of them and keep only what is true and helpful. Personally, I need the Bible to help me test what's true or not. But everybody has their own process. The point is: process your thoughts.

I hope it's helpful. I hope you find some ways to stop the energy leaks. And here's hoping that 2022 finally holds the moment when the world-wide stress de-escalates a little. Until then, we press on, thankful for another day.


Comments

  1. This entry is so helpful for me. I struggle with decision paralysis daily-or when I have a time in my life that is hard for me mental health wise. Any one else relate to this?

    ReplyDelete

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