Friends, I am in disbelief and awe of the words I'm about to write -- not because I'm any good at writing, but because God is so at work and I want to make sure to tell the story as it continues to unfold.
At the start of 2018, I decided I was finally going to get a handle on my financial situation. As I've watched friend after friend buy and move into houses of their own, it's become increasingly difficult to fight off envy. But, because of choices I made in college (private, Christian education) my financial situation is a lot harder to find elbow room, and I finally realized that if it was ever going to change, I'm going to just have to own what I've signed on for and kick butt to pay it back. I had wanted to take Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University class, but it just never worked out, until this January. So, for the last 8 weeks, I've been outlining budgets, insurance, savings, etc and working SO hard to make sure that theory becomes reality afterwards. I was ready to tackle the student loan debt and finally begin the rest of life after debt.
But almost immediately after beginning the pursuit of financial freedom, I hit speed bumps. And not just one... In January, I had to have 2 cavities filled unexpectedly and had several unusual expenses pop up. In February, one of those cavities regressed instead of healing and required a full-blown root canal (praise God for insurance, but those things aren't cheap, even with good insurance!). A week later, that root canal required an urgent care visit and three medications to eradicate an infection. Then, there were car issues. I knew that before I could really get after my debt, I was going to have to save and buy a car. I had no idea where all that money was going to come from, but I pushed forward and kept praying that God would meet the rest of the needs.
Two Sundays ago, my pastor gave a sermon on generosity. He challenged us to live life with an open hand and a soft heart and to respond when we're prompted to give. He told a story from early in his marriage when he and his wife received a financial gift at just the right time and from someone who wanted God to get all the glory. He said their generosity brought them to their knees -- they couldn't do anything but thank God and cry happy tears. I sat in my seat, crying, because while the story was touching, I personally felt a little bit like the start of that story: "I could sure use a gift like that, God." Something in my heart said, "Well, then, ASK!" (Matthew 7:7, James 1:7) So I prayed that God would bring me a gift of generosity.
Mid-week last week, I walked out of a really stressful day only to find that my car was dead. No power, no lights, no sounds. I called for a jump and got home safely, but feared this might be the final leg of this 18-year-old car's life. The next morning, same thing -- dead. Thankfully, my neighbor came to jump the car and I got to work safely, but not without stress. My birthday was in a few days, so my co-workers threw me a party and we brainstormed some ideas for car repairs. They prayed over my year and over the car situation and then I took off to a mechanic's shop to see if we could figure out a diagnosis. THREE shops later (eye roll), no one could really tell me what they thought was happening and I was really worried it was going to cost a ton of money I didn't have. I sent a quick prayer request to the prayer chain and asked them to pray specifically for favor in financial provision and to pray against any expensive car repairs. I was pretty discouraged and thought I was never going to get a good start on this journey. A few people wrote back words of encouragement and it helped just to know other people "saw" my need and were interceding for me. These are the moments single folks have to rely on the family of God because few others really see what's happening or know enough to ask. But I'll be honest, a very small part of me doubted anything would change.
Saturday, a family from church texted me to ask if they could take me out to lunch for my birthday. I agreed and after church, we carpooled to Chili's for my traditional birthday meal. They had some knowledge that my car was on the fritz and I shared about being in FPU and trying to make progress financially. We talked a little about money, but then moved on. It was a good lunch and I was thankful to be well loved on my birthday.
Once we got back to the church parking lot, the wife said, "Oh! Your gift is in the other car. Let me go grab it quick." She came back with an arm full of things: a yellow rose, several hand made cards, and then a handwritten note:
"Dear Jacque,
{We} have been praying and thinking for a while about this now and it's because we feel like we have been given and blessed with so much in the last few months. So, we prayed God would guide our hearts and know when and to whom we should freely give. Not just because it's your birthday, but because Christ gave to us -- we want to give you this gift to bless you if you'll accept it freely."
Then they handed me a box:
I could hardly believe my eyes. That's a car remote key. That goes to a CAR! I looked up at them and said, "What?" The husband said, "I hope you like Nissan's, cuz you're driving one now." The wife giggled a little bit at my flabbergasted face and said, "This is my favorite part." I managed to sputter out an "Are you serious?" and when their answer was yes, the tears just poured down my cheeks. How could they have known?!
The husband explained that the same sermon on generosity really hit home for them and about five days ago (the day my car died!), God laid this idea on the wife's heart. They had been thinking of changing their car situation anyway, and as they prayed and fasted about it, this was the answer. I had no words. Thank you will never be enough. They followed me home with the new car, handed over the title, and then gave me the name of their insurance guy so I can get that squared away, too. I spent the rest of the afternoon oscillating between humbled happy tears and laughter that this was really happening. And then, I started to see: God's fingerprints everywhere on this...
The week we heard that sermon, we were sitting in the same row. So, basically, as the prayer went out from my heart "God, I need a miracle of generosity," the answer was impressed on theirs just a few seats away. And really, the answer was already there, they just hadn't ironed out the details.
The car is a big deal -- a VERY big deal. But I always know it's God's handiwork when all the extras are there, too. I'm someone who rarely buys fresh flowers for myself, but I LOVE them. My primary love language is quality time and the second is handwritten notes. And while I'm not a super-fan of surprises, it speaks volumes to my heart when something is done with thoughtfulness and great intention, even if it's a small act of love. This family didn't just give me a car, they gave me literally a lap full of the little things that speak love to me. Unreal.
As I've shared this story with a few people in-person, one of them said, "I knew God was going to do something big, but I just didn't know what. So I prayed He would do what only He can do. Just know, you are so loved." It's true -- there are times you can almost feel that God's got something in the works because all the other options are "no," but the voice in your gut says, "yes." This was one of those times.
Additionally, the car is exactly what I would have picked: smaller than my Buick, but not compact and uncomfortable. Fuel efficient (or at least moreso than the Buick!), and under 10 years old. No major mechanical issues and it came from a home of someone I know and trust. Given the choice, I'd choose leather interior -- yep, leather interior here. Plus, I didn't have to go through the hassle of searching, test driving, bargaining, and making appointments. And, the cherry on top? It's blue. I have always wanted a blue car and I've always driven a boring sandy brown one. Double cherry on top? All the windows go all the way down and back up again every time! It's so fun! My Buick hasn't done that in at least 7 years!
I've decided to name the car Grace. In a season where my efforts were probably never going to be enough, God knew I would need some grace, some unmerited favor against all odds. He's the one who made everything and He's the keeper of all the wealth -- we are just stewards. Last month, I asked God to up my "allowance" of what I steward because I felt ready to take on more responsibility (money) now that I know the basics of financial literacy. In situations like this, several mentors have said, "Work like it depends on you, pray like it depends on God." It's true. And God definitely came through.
I've still got a LONG LONG ways to go on this road to financial freedom, but this was one of the best birthdays ever and I feel like I finally have some wind in my sails to push through these next steps. I am so thankful for answered prayers and hope that you also see God at work.
I'll leave you with my life verse, Matthew 6:26. It says, "Consider the ravens of the air -- they neither sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than birds?"
He sees your need. He knows your heart. He wants you to draw near to Him and when you do, He will show love like you've never seen. Grace is just one example.
Cheers to year 29.
At the start of 2018, I decided I was finally going to get a handle on my financial situation. As I've watched friend after friend buy and move into houses of their own, it's become increasingly difficult to fight off envy. But, because of choices I made in college (private, Christian education) my financial situation is a lot harder to find elbow room, and I finally realized that if it was ever going to change, I'm going to just have to own what I've signed on for and kick butt to pay it back. I had wanted to take Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University class, but it just never worked out, until this January. So, for the last 8 weeks, I've been outlining budgets, insurance, savings, etc and working SO hard to make sure that theory becomes reality afterwards. I was ready to tackle the student loan debt and finally begin the rest of life after debt.
But almost immediately after beginning the pursuit of financial freedom, I hit speed bumps. And not just one... In January, I had to have 2 cavities filled unexpectedly and had several unusual expenses pop up. In February, one of those cavities regressed instead of healing and required a full-blown root canal (praise God for insurance, but those things aren't cheap, even with good insurance!). A week later, that root canal required an urgent care visit and three medications to eradicate an infection. Then, there were car issues. I knew that before I could really get after my debt, I was going to have to save and buy a car. I had no idea where all that money was going to come from, but I pushed forward and kept praying that God would meet the rest of the needs.
Two Sundays ago, my pastor gave a sermon on generosity. He challenged us to live life with an open hand and a soft heart and to respond when we're prompted to give. He told a story from early in his marriage when he and his wife received a financial gift at just the right time and from someone who wanted God to get all the glory. He said their generosity brought them to their knees -- they couldn't do anything but thank God and cry happy tears. I sat in my seat, crying, because while the story was touching, I personally felt a little bit like the start of that story: "I could sure use a gift like that, God." Something in my heart said, "Well, then, ASK!" (Matthew 7:7, James 1:7) So I prayed that God would bring me a gift of generosity.
Mid-week last week, I walked out of a really stressful day only to find that my car was dead. No power, no lights, no sounds. I called for a jump and got home safely, but feared this might be the final leg of this 18-year-old car's life. The next morning, same thing -- dead. Thankfully, my neighbor came to jump the car and I got to work safely, but not without stress. My birthday was in a few days, so my co-workers threw me a party and we brainstormed some ideas for car repairs. They prayed over my year and over the car situation and then I took off to a mechanic's shop to see if we could figure out a diagnosis. THREE shops later (eye roll), no one could really tell me what they thought was happening and I was really worried it was going to cost a ton of money I didn't have. I sent a quick prayer request to the prayer chain and asked them to pray specifically for favor in financial provision and to pray against any expensive car repairs. I was pretty discouraged and thought I was never going to get a good start on this journey. A few people wrote back words of encouragement and it helped just to know other people "saw" my need and were interceding for me. These are the moments single folks have to rely on the family of God because few others really see what's happening or know enough to ask. But I'll be honest, a very small part of me doubted anything would change.
Saturday, a family from church texted me to ask if they could take me out to lunch for my birthday. I agreed and after church, we carpooled to Chili's for my traditional birthday meal. They had some knowledge that my car was on the fritz and I shared about being in FPU and trying to make progress financially. We talked a little about money, but then moved on. It was a good lunch and I was thankful to be well loved on my birthday.
Once we got back to the church parking lot, the wife said, "Oh! Your gift is in the other car. Let me go grab it quick." She came back with an arm full of things: a yellow rose, several hand made cards, and then a handwritten note:
"Dear Jacque,
{We} have been praying and thinking for a while about this now and it's because we feel like we have been given and blessed with so much in the last few months. So, we prayed God would guide our hearts and know when and to whom we should freely give. Not just because it's your birthday, but because Christ gave to us -- we want to give you this gift to bless you if you'll accept it freely."
Then they handed me a box:
I could hardly believe my eyes. That's a car remote key. That goes to a CAR! I looked up at them and said, "What?" The husband said, "I hope you like Nissan's, cuz you're driving one now." The wife giggled a little bit at my flabbergasted face and said, "This is my favorite part." I managed to sputter out an "Are you serious?" and when their answer was yes, the tears just poured down my cheeks. How could they have known?!
The husband explained that the same sermon on generosity really hit home for them and about five days ago (the day my car died!), God laid this idea on the wife's heart. They had been thinking of changing their car situation anyway, and as they prayed and fasted about it, this was the answer. I had no words. Thank you will never be enough. They followed me home with the new car, handed over the title, and then gave me the name of their insurance guy so I can get that squared away, too. I spent the rest of the afternoon oscillating between humbled happy tears and laughter that this was really happening. And then, I started to see: God's fingerprints everywhere on this...
The week we heard that sermon, we were sitting in the same row. So, basically, as the prayer went out from my heart "God, I need a miracle of generosity," the answer was impressed on theirs just a few seats away. And really, the answer was already there, they just hadn't ironed out the details.
The car is a big deal -- a VERY big deal. But I always know it's God's handiwork when all the extras are there, too. I'm someone who rarely buys fresh flowers for myself, but I LOVE them. My primary love language is quality time and the second is handwritten notes. And while I'm not a super-fan of surprises, it speaks volumes to my heart when something is done with thoughtfulness and great intention, even if it's a small act of love. This family didn't just give me a car, they gave me literally a lap full of the little things that speak love to me. Unreal.
As I've shared this story with a few people in-person, one of them said, "I knew God was going to do something big, but I just didn't know what. So I prayed He would do what only He can do. Just know, you are so loved." It's true -- there are times you can almost feel that God's got something in the works because all the other options are "no," but the voice in your gut says, "yes." This was one of those times.
Additionally, the car is exactly what I would have picked: smaller than my Buick, but not compact and uncomfortable. Fuel efficient (or at least moreso than the Buick!), and under 10 years old. No major mechanical issues and it came from a home of someone I know and trust. Given the choice, I'd choose leather interior -- yep, leather interior here. Plus, I didn't have to go through the hassle of searching, test driving, bargaining, and making appointments. And, the cherry on top? It's blue. I have always wanted a blue car and I've always driven a boring sandy brown one. Double cherry on top? All the windows go all the way down and back up again every time! It's so fun! My Buick hasn't done that in at least 7 years!
I've decided to name the car Grace. In a season where my efforts were probably never going to be enough, God knew I would need some grace, some unmerited favor against all odds. He's the one who made everything and He's the keeper of all the wealth -- we are just stewards. Last month, I asked God to up my "allowance" of what I steward because I felt ready to take on more responsibility (money) now that I know the basics of financial literacy. In situations like this, several mentors have said, "Work like it depends on you, pray like it depends on God." It's true. And God definitely came through.
I've still got a LONG LONG ways to go on this road to financial freedom, but this was one of the best birthdays ever and I feel like I finally have some wind in my sails to push through these next steps. I am so thankful for answered prayers and hope that you also see God at work.
I'll leave you with my life verse, Matthew 6:26. It says, "Consider the ravens of the air -- they neither sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than birds?"
He sees your need. He knows your heart. He wants you to draw near to Him and when you do, He will show love like you've never seen. Grace is just one example.
Cheers to year 29.
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