I recently heard an excellent sermon on this very topic and while I wouldn't want to one-up it, I will say this is well-worth a watch or listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLKFXqy7X3Y
If you skipped the video, here's the thesis: sometimes God complicates our lives on purpose. (What?!) If you're new to Christianity or were of the belief that God only wants us to be happy, this might hurt a little bit... but hear me out.
I've been reminded a lot lately that God functions much like a parent. Because His lens is so much wider than any one human's ever will be, we need to acknowledge that some things we will just never have the answer to on this side of heaven. So, to start, if you've got something you've been praying about and asking the Lord for and it just seems like the answer is always no even if the "thing" you're praying for is inherently good, it may be worth praying about His 'no.' His answers are trustworthy, even when they don't logically make sense. I hope you'll see why as we continue here.
But if God hasn't exactly said no, and He hasn't allowed the yes, you find yourself in a frail and vulnerable heart condition I like to call faith. Hebrews 11 walks through snapshots of our forefathers of faith and some of their predicaments. To trust or not to trust -- for each, this was the test. But was the reason the same in each story? Was Noah's faith test the same as Abraham's? Nope. Or Jacob's the same as Moses'? Nope. Each story was uniquely designed by God to accomplish something. We have the luxury of being able to see how their stories played out. But we don't have that luxury in our own lives. So the reason God has me in a season of waiting very well might be completely different than His heartbeat for another brother or sister's journey. And that's okay, because if we trust God to be God, we know He's working it all out for our good and His glory.
But, per Ben Stuart's sermon, here are "three reasons God complicates our lives" and causes us to wait:
1) You're not ready. So, in His mercy, He throws in a training detour.
I've heard it said about singleness in particular that God keeps some people "single for a season" and others "single for a reason." And while that makes me giggle a little to envision God calmly telling someone they're single for a reason... I also have to stop and evaluate because until recently that quote hit a little too close to home.
Maybe what you're waiting on is different and more tangible like the purchase of a home or for healing of a sickness that you never wanted. Because we know God is in the business of growing us up like a good parent pushes a child to learn and grow, we should be wise enough to look for the lesson when we keep encountering roadblocks and "not yet" answers. Often times, there are a few more steps to take before we would be genuinely ready. If you've ever told a toddler "no" to candy before dinner, you know exactly where this is coming from: the candy isn't bad itself, but it'll keep you from the stuff that will actually nourish them for longer.
In my life, I look at my aspirations as a teen to go to college for music performance and become a famous musician. Half the reason I still chuckle typing this is because I know there's NO WAY I was ready for the pressure that would've come with that life. But at 17, I was convinced I was invincible and totally "deserving" of the limelight. Such a prideful little spirit I had! I know now that the limelight would've eaten me alive. I didn't have the self-worth to actually be a performer and enjoy the spotlight. I wanted it so badly, I tried to bust through closed doors a few times only to walk away from music for a season more than a little angry and with growing bitterness. I wasn't ready, but I was too proud to hear it. So Jesus called a holy "time-out" and sent me into ministry -- that'll humble one in a hurry... Yet He was merciful.
Also, side note -- sometimes we're waiting because our "not ready-ness" is manifested in fear or laziness (slack attack!) so we aren't taking initiative where we should be. We don't always have the power to overhaul all our circumstances, but we have to acknowledge that if actions have consequences, so does inaction. Deciding to "keep your options open" or "just make sure" before jumping into a new project, relationship, or career direction may be a more costly decision than whatever seems safe. "If you want something you've never had, you're going to have to do something you've never done." Right? Readiness acknowledges the risk, but obeys the marching orders anyway.
2) For greater glory to God. The higher the stakes, the more the glory.
I think of all three options, this one may be the hardest to swallow. Don't get me wrong -- I want God to get the glory in all things... but at first glance, it could seem harsh. Like, completely unfair and even hurtful. How would you tell a cancer patient that, though she is sick and God is sovereign and powerful enough to heal her, God is allowing her to stay in the midst of a painful illness to bring more fame to Himself? How do you assure the couple struggling with years of infertility and miscarriages that God has not forgotten about them and that He is powerful enough to give a child -- and then top it off with the highly insensitive: "Plus, if you get pregnant now, God will get more glory because you lost those first few!" That kind of sentiment is infuriating in the midst of honest and unexplained suffering. Who would be bold (or insensitive) enough to tell the parents who just lost a child to senseless gun violence "Well, God can do more through a loss than He might have through your kid's life." NO! Ugh -- makes me cringe just thinking about someone saying that! If God were human, we would undoubtedly call this oppression -- someone keeping someone else down for their own gain. And in 21st century America, there is a very active conversation around oppression and how to get rid of it because it's harmful. But remember: God doesn't cause hurt for no reason, and that's the difference. God coaches us sometimes by putting us through things that are painful (did a coach ever make you run killers after a particularly brutal workout? Same idea.) SO THAT we can handle what's coming -- it's for our good, which is ultimately His glory.
So how can a bible-believing Christian be okay with a God who continues to allow suffering for the sake of His own name and calling it "good"? ... There's no easy answer, except God is God and I am not. I don't get to choose how God makes His name known nor what He determines to be good. I don't get to choose who suffers and by what ways. I do not have control over anyone's timeline because I do not have a lens to see everything that God is up to in all corners of the world across space and time. So many people get hung up on this issue and decide that God can't be good and loving if He allows people to suffer. I've had more than a few students who read the Old Testament and say, "Ms. Olson -- how come God can murder all those people and still be "loving?" So mean!" And you know, I've heard more than a few real-life stories that, if I were living them, would cause me to not only doubt God's existence but also His ability to do anything about the evil that's so visible in the world today. The human heart is not made to withstand the full impact of evil, especially not repeatedly on deeply personal levels.
There are no easy answers. I don't have them. And I understand that for some who are wrestling through this in real-time, no answer given by anyone but God will suffice. But I want you to know there's hope and there's purpose in the pain.
But let's be clear -- the difference between human oppression and God using suffering for His glory is that human-to-human oppression is not rooted in love, it's rooted in a need for control or power or in fear of losing those things. That is not love.
God's Word to us promises that God is near to the broken-hearted and He hears our cries, both the spoken and the deep things of our heart we cannot yet find words for. Christians have the immeasurably valuable presence of the Holy Spirit dwelling in our hearts and this alone will empower us to overcome even the darkest nights. God does not abandon us and when we're on the other side of suffering, it is to HIS GLORY that we see and acknowledge that He was the one who carried us through.
A final thought on this: if you're a parent or you've worked with kids, you know the delight of being able to give a child a gift that they've been begging for. Their joy and excitement is so much greater if they've been waiting, saving, and begging for a couple months rather than a couple minutes. God knows the importance of delaying gratification to a degree that even the best parents can appreciate. He is the giver of good gifts and His timing is perfect. Let your heart rest in that.
3) Using your life so others know Him better by the way you obey and trust
Finally, sometimes God asks us to wait so that we can be of assistance in a greater narrative. I heard someone say once, "You never know who God is talking to about you, and the people you pray for likely will never know it on this side of heaven." It's true -- we don't get to see who's praying for us. But God sees and hears it all. We don't know what He's up to in other people's lives, but when we live our lives with joyful obedience to the ways He's asked, we get the opportunity to display His impeccable perfection.
When I was teaching in the Philippines, I had a student who (with a few exceptions) was basically my twin 15 years and 9,000 miles removed. The struggles she faced were mirror images to what I went through in middle school. We would talk and it was like hearing my 12-year-old self process through another mind. On one particularly Freaky Friday instance, I asked God what I should encourage her with. The Lord helped me see: my own struggles in middle school weren't wasted -- they were being used to encourage another sister in Christ in a similar situation. My action step was to tell my story and reveal exactly what God had told me: "this isn't senseless. You'll get through this. I'm here." It didn't necessarily "fix" everything she was going through, but I think we can all relate to the comfort of being known, seen, and understood in a time of need. God used darkness and pain to generate hope. Only God can do that! If I had taken my experiences of middle school and based my view of God on His willingness to save me from the locker room bullies, I may have forsaken my faith and left this little lady without a timely word. You just never know what the Lord will use.
All of this to say... if you're waiting and not sure why, He is worthy of our trust. The path doesn't change just because we can't see it. God's faithfulness is true whether visible or hidden for a time. We wait to the glory of God.
If you skipped the video, here's the thesis: sometimes God complicates our lives on purpose. (What?!) If you're new to Christianity or were of the belief that God only wants us to be happy, this might hurt a little bit... but hear me out.
I've been reminded a lot lately that God functions much like a parent. Because His lens is so much wider than any one human's ever will be, we need to acknowledge that some things we will just never have the answer to on this side of heaven. So, to start, if you've got something you've been praying about and asking the Lord for and it just seems like the answer is always no even if the "thing" you're praying for is inherently good, it may be worth praying about His 'no.' His answers are trustworthy, even when they don't logically make sense. I hope you'll see why as we continue here.
But if God hasn't exactly said no, and He hasn't allowed the yes, you find yourself in a frail and vulnerable heart condition I like to call faith. Hebrews 11 walks through snapshots of our forefathers of faith and some of their predicaments. To trust or not to trust -- for each, this was the test. But was the reason the same in each story? Was Noah's faith test the same as Abraham's? Nope. Or Jacob's the same as Moses'? Nope. Each story was uniquely designed by God to accomplish something. We have the luxury of being able to see how their stories played out. But we don't have that luxury in our own lives. So the reason God has me in a season of waiting very well might be completely different than His heartbeat for another brother or sister's journey. And that's okay, because if we trust God to be God, we know He's working it all out for our good and His glory.
But, per Ben Stuart's sermon, here are "three reasons God complicates our lives" and causes us to wait:
1) You're not ready. So, in His mercy, He throws in a training detour.
I've heard it said about singleness in particular that God keeps some people "single for a season" and others "single for a reason." And while that makes me giggle a little to envision God calmly telling someone they're single for a reason... I also have to stop and evaluate because until recently that quote hit a little too close to home.
Maybe what you're waiting on is different and more tangible like the purchase of a home or for healing of a sickness that you never wanted. Because we know God is in the business of growing us up like a good parent pushes a child to learn and grow, we should be wise enough to look for the lesson when we keep encountering roadblocks and "not yet" answers. Often times, there are a few more steps to take before we would be genuinely ready. If you've ever told a toddler "no" to candy before dinner, you know exactly where this is coming from: the candy isn't bad itself, but it'll keep you from the stuff that will actually nourish them for longer.
In my life, I look at my aspirations as a teen to go to college for music performance and become a famous musician. Half the reason I still chuckle typing this is because I know there's NO WAY I was ready for the pressure that would've come with that life. But at 17, I was convinced I was invincible and totally "deserving" of the limelight. Such a prideful little spirit I had! I know now that the limelight would've eaten me alive. I didn't have the self-worth to actually be a performer and enjoy the spotlight. I wanted it so badly, I tried to bust through closed doors a few times only to walk away from music for a season more than a little angry and with growing bitterness. I wasn't ready, but I was too proud to hear it. So Jesus called a holy "time-out" and sent me into ministry -- that'll humble one in a hurry... Yet He was merciful.
Also, side note -- sometimes we're waiting because our "not ready-ness" is manifested in fear or laziness (slack attack!) so we aren't taking initiative where we should be. We don't always have the power to overhaul all our circumstances, but we have to acknowledge that if actions have consequences, so does inaction. Deciding to "keep your options open" or "just make sure" before jumping into a new project, relationship, or career direction may be a more costly decision than whatever seems safe. "If you want something you've never had, you're going to have to do something you've never done." Right? Readiness acknowledges the risk, but obeys the marching orders anyway.
2) For greater glory to God. The higher the stakes, the more the glory.
I think of all three options, this one may be the hardest to swallow. Don't get me wrong -- I want God to get the glory in all things... but at first glance, it could seem harsh. Like, completely unfair and even hurtful. How would you tell a cancer patient that, though she is sick and God is sovereign and powerful enough to heal her, God is allowing her to stay in the midst of a painful illness to bring more fame to Himself? How do you assure the couple struggling with years of infertility and miscarriages that God has not forgotten about them and that He is powerful enough to give a child -- and then top it off with the highly insensitive: "Plus, if you get pregnant now, God will get more glory because you lost those first few!" That kind of sentiment is infuriating in the midst of honest and unexplained suffering. Who would be bold (or insensitive) enough to tell the parents who just lost a child to senseless gun violence "Well, God can do more through a loss than He might have through your kid's life." NO! Ugh -- makes me cringe just thinking about someone saying that! If God were human, we would undoubtedly call this oppression -- someone keeping someone else down for their own gain. And in 21st century America, there is a very active conversation around oppression and how to get rid of it because it's harmful. But remember: God doesn't cause hurt for no reason, and that's the difference. God coaches us sometimes by putting us through things that are painful (did a coach ever make you run killers after a particularly brutal workout? Same idea.) SO THAT we can handle what's coming -- it's for our good, which is ultimately His glory.
So how can a bible-believing Christian be okay with a God who continues to allow suffering for the sake of His own name and calling it "good"? ... There's no easy answer, except God is God and I am not. I don't get to choose how God makes His name known nor what He determines to be good. I don't get to choose who suffers and by what ways. I do not have control over anyone's timeline because I do not have a lens to see everything that God is up to in all corners of the world across space and time. So many people get hung up on this issue and decide that God can't be good and loving if He allows people to suffer. I've had more than a few students who read the Old Testament and say, "Ms. Olson -- how come God can murder all those people and still be "loving?" So mean!" And you know, I've heard more than a few real-life stories that, if I were living them, would cause me to not only doubt God's existence but also His ability to do anything about the evil that's so visible in the world today. The human heart is not made to withstand the full impact of evil, especially not repeatedly on deeply personal levels.
There are no easy answers. I don't have them. And I understand that for some who are wrestling through this in real-time, no answer given by anyone but God will suffice. But I want you to know there's hope and there's purpose in the pain.
But let's be clear -- the difference between human oppression and God using suffering for His glory is that human-to-human oppression is not rooted in love, it's rooted in a need for control or power or in fear of losing those things. That is not love.
God's Word to us promises that God is near to the broken-hearted and He hears our cries, both the spoken and the deep things of our heart we cannot yet find words for. Christians have the immeasurably valuable presence of the Holy Spirit dwelling in our hearts and this alone will empower us to overcome even the darkest nights. God does not abandon us and when we're on the other side of suffering, it is to HIS GLORY that we see and acknowledge that He was the one who carried us through.
A final thought on this: if you're a parent or you've worked with kids, you know the delight of being able to give a child a gift that they've been begging for. Their joy and excitement is so much greater if they've been waiting, saving, and begging for a couple months rather than a couple minutes. God knows the importance of delaying gratification to a degree that even the best parents can appreciate. He is the giver of good gifts and His timing is perfect. Let your heart rest in that.
3) Using your life so others know Him better by the way you obey and trust
Finally, sometimes God asks us to wait so that we can be of assistance in a greater narrative. I heard someone say once, "You never know who God is talking to about you, and the people you pray for likely will never know it on this side of heaven." It's true -- we don't get to see who's praying for us. But God sees and hears it all. We don't know what He's up to in other people's lives, but when we live our lives with joyful obedience to the ways He's asked, we get the opportunity to display His impeccable perfection.
When I was teaching in the Philippines, I had a student who (with a few exceptions) was basically my twin 15 years and 9,000 miles removed. The struggles she faced were mirror images to what I went through in middle school. We would talk and it was like hearing my 12-year-old self process through another mind. On one particularly Freaky Friday instance, I asked God what I should encourage her with. The Lord helped me see: my own struggles in middle school weren't wasted -- they were being used to encourage another sister in Christ in a similar situation. My action step was to tell my story and reveal exactly what God had told me: "this isn't senseless. You'll get through this. I'm here." It didn't necessarily "fix" everything she was going through, but I think we can all relate to the comfort of being known, seen, and understood in a time of need. God used darkness and pain to generate hope. Only God can do that! If I had taken my experiences of middle school and based my view of God on His willingness to save me from the locker room bullies, I may have forsaken my faith and left this little lady without a timely word. You just never know what the Lord will use.
All of this to say... if you're waiting and not sure why, He is worthy of our trust. The path doesn't change just because we can't see it. God's faithfulness is true whether visible or hidden for a time. We wait to the glory of God.
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